Reminiscence

“I don’t think I’ll be allowed to.”

“But you were cool with it till yesterday”

“Yeah things changed. I don’t think my parents will allow”

“Did you ask?”

“No but I know they won’t”

Bee walks in the café.

“Bee Look now he’s denying going to the concert with me.” Aggy said.

“Not fair Shring, You promised.” Bee was prompt with his statement.

“No but I won’t be allowed.” I was trying to convince Bee instead of aggy now.

“Won’t you really?” Bee questioned. He’s good with catching up lies and this question from him had raised alarms in aggy’s brain too.

“Yeah! I’m not lying.” Aggy breaks eye contact in midst of the statement.

It was New Years Eve 2019 , 2 tickets to the most awaited concert of the century and I had told Aggy if he could get two tickets I would go with him. He was hyped up about this concert, I never was. I never am. I rarely hang out with these people and they are like the only people I “extrovert” myself with. I’d love a classic from Khaled Husseni and a cup of coffee over a talk with people between four walls of a café and rolling eyes of anyone over me. I hadn’t had that love for people in general or I had a limited time tolerance for people, I would get allergic once that daily threshold is crossed.

I had never attended a concert in my life and had no plans on doing it anytime soon either. If any reason what so ever I was to meet up with people I would do it over a cup of warm coffee or a cold beer depending on the mood and weather. It’d be like at least I’d be doing something I love over the time.

Bee was my friend from childhood. He was gay, had a boyfriend and spent most of the time with his boyfriend. He was single till last year and we used to hang out a lot but since last year, he got in a relationship, our hanging out has reduced by a lot and old habits take time to forget and time got hard without Bee. Many a times I’d want to surround myself with the brisk aroma of the highland beans coffee house but being alone, It’d get boring to wait for the coffee. I could do some browsing over the internet but it’d show the same stuff after a while. That’s one disappointment in having a limited number of friends on Facebook. I could make coffee for myself at home but the addictive environment of the café was enchanting that I couldn’t resist myself from going there on the regular basis that I used to with Bee.

That’s how I met Aggy. It was once busy morning when I had that craving for a pastry. It was breakfast time so I headed towards my regular café, took a table, the only one which was available, seated myself, observed around me and signaled the waiter. I placed my order ‘One Latte and a pastry’ which took 20 minutes to arrive maybe due to increased crowd in the café. I entertained myself on my phone when the waiter arrived. I was prepared to take that bite on the pastry but to my disappointment, the waiter wasn’t there with my order but a small request.
“Excuse me sir.” He said with the largest grin.
“Yeah! Place it here.” I said excitedly placing my phone aside.
“No Sir! Your order is getting ready but since you can see we’re a little overcrowded today and it’s so hard to manage the customers and since you’re alone would it be okay if this guy joins you.” He had that constant grin on his face.

That was the moment I realized how lonely I’d grown, I looked around to see people with other people and it never bothered me before but after going on that rough patch with Bee, I’d grown in need of a person to talk to. Bee was always there to listen to me and I always had a lot to say. Bee would listen to me, object me in places he deemed right and used to correct me in opinions I was wrong about. There used to be some instances I knew I was wrong but yet I’d tell him to hear his opinion about the matter and just to be corrected by him.

“Yeah! It’s fine. Bring him in.” I told the waiter. I was fascinated by the way he’d maintained that constant grin all this time. I’d started to think it was his face that was made that way.

A fine gentleman, well ironed shirt, shining shoes and long tight trousers, an unusual combination but it actually suited him. He took forever to reach from the doors to the table. Does he walk that way or wasn’t he sure till he got at the table about where he was going to be seated, I questioned myself.  I never got the answer to that, even if I did, I can’t remember what it was now.

“Thank you!” he exclaimed before sitting.

“It’s fine.” I replied out of general courtesy.

“I’m Aggy by the way.” He seemed eager to talk

“Okay!” I was not ready to socialize today. I got back to my phone.

 The waiter came to take his order. It was the same guy who did mine. “A blueberry muffin and an espresso.” He  ordered.

“Eh! What an unusual taste”, I thought to myself.

About six minutes after his order was placed, My pastry and Latte arrived. I signaled the waiter to keep it there but I was occupied with this article I had just opened about this book sale that was going to happen two blocks from the café I was seated at and the books were about to go in upto 90% sale. It felt butterflies.

When I was done with the article, Espresso and blueberry muffin arrived at the table.

Aggy seemed excited and he jumped in vigorously at his muffin. One bite of the muffin and a sip from the cup when he realized his mistake but it was too late to be sorry. I felt sorry for him because that was one bizarre combination, in terms of sweetness felt like a kiss between Hitler and Gandhi. (I hope No bullet comes my way because of this)

“Is this your first time trying this combination?” I readied myself for a human interaction.

“Yeah!” He said making that odd mannerism with his face.

“I’m Shring by the way”

“I’m aggy. Are you often here?”

“Yeah! Never noticed you? ”

“Yeah! I used to hang out next doors but they closed recently.”

“I too heard of that.” I had no idea what place was there next door. This was my way of making small talk, lying mostly to get that closure in places I need to.

“I love the aroma of this place.” I made a statement, not sure if I intended it to tell him.

“I’m getting what you’re trying to tell, This smell is enchanting.”

There was a momentary silence in own small space, there was this invisisble force that kept me from noticing other people and it was just the two of us. I sipped my cup and took a bit from my pastry when he chooses to pop the silence.

“So you study around anywhere?”

“Yeah! Hotel Management in a place right around the corner and you?”

“I’m taking a year off between high school and college. I want to do business but still haven’t figured out what I want to do in life so hoping to find that ray of light.” Aggy was so passionate talking about this stuff.

“Cool!” I couldn’t think of better words to respond.

“I’m having my birthday party tomorrow, Come if you’d like to.” Aggy pops out this offer out of nowhere and he seemed like he wanted me there.

“Sure. Where’s it?” This distance with bee had left me look for a substitute for him and Aggy was soon about to fill the gap.

“Eh! Not sure but give me your number, I’ll tell you.” Aggy replied.

“Okay note it down 981852****” I handed him my number and since it was getting late for class, I paid my bill had goodbye greetings with this total stranger I’d met and given my number to and left.

The birthday party was a blast. There weren’t much of people as there were drinks. If I were to break it down to a ratio the alcoholic beverages to people were in the ratio 10:1. i.e. 10 times more than you’d drink in the regular parties. People started getting drunk and leaving slowly, Aggy and I took the terrace, got drunk till getting blacked out, and all we remember was we had shared every details of our life from past to present to future dreams that night and we woke up as best friends. It led to many joyous nights filled with great memories of trips, incidents, night outs, moments we remember, moments we don’t but one thing was constant in all of these, we both were together doing everything which brings us to today.

Aggy had those tickets but I was not ready to be at a concert. Concert wasn’t that big of a deal, I’d have done bigger things for aggy but the recent breakup had left me in no state to be anywhere in my bed or in a bar and jumping and humping was not what I was long forward for that night. I wanted to be happy and be there for myself again. I started thinking How my friendship with Aggy had changed me, How I’d been happy but yet I’d stopped doing the things I’d love to do once. I was happy but I couldn’t think of one of the trips I’d been to alone that year. I tried remembering the time I invested on myself but to no surprise I feel like a blacked out teen with the worst hangover every time I think about it. Aggy hasn’t realized this but It wasn’t just about tonight, it’s been a month to this.

I’ve been ignoring his plans for a month now; I haven’t done anything exciting for the past month. I hadn’t done anything boring too. I tried starting a new novel but it feels like a drag after page 3 itself. I tried writing poems but my pen seems to dry out after the third line, everything I used to enjoy doing feels like a drag but I couldn’t seem to grab hold of new hobbies either. It’s been a total of 30 days today since aggy and I had a plan. The last of our ventures was a night out of drinking and gambling when we cheated to win some good money and yet nothing seemed about right about it, neither does anything I did for this month. I was lost in this vortex of time where I can’t decide where the right track for me is. Which path If I take, I won’t regret in the next five years.

Aggy has stopped trying. Bee left about an hour ago with his boyfriend. Aggy is sitting there with his usual espresso. I run a cold gaze at him. He smiles.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I tell him.
“About what?” He questions me back
“About going to the concert. Like How I’m going to miss this, how I’m making a big mistake, how this could’ve been my night, how we could enjoy it?”
“Look there Shring” Aggy points towards something at the bill counter.

I fix my glasses to look at something that seems like a calendar.

“Look closely” The voice says from behing.

“I fix my gaze to read 31^st December 2024.”

I look forward to find an empty café and warm vapors rising up the cup of espresso that I’ve been using to keep my hands warm.

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