The last lecture and the smiley face

2015/09/04.

 Today’s date, yup it’s all about today! Let’s see a day @college, not a regular one.
I saw feelings today. Sounds pretty funny but saw feelings huh! Maybe something like the running nose or smelling feet but I’m not going metaphorically but I mean that! Class 12 HSEB course of Nepal whoa! Turn a page and content on love! The most awkward phase of life is made more awkward. Well let me go to my story.

Time: Around 10 in the morning.

Class was going on. Was the last lecture of the day, so was supposed to be boring but nah the content was love, another damn class on feelings I’m trying to avoid. Every word teacher was saying was passing through my hearts and I feel myself in the same exact situation, awkward huh? I was scared that I was going to scream the name in my head loudly and how embarrassing it would be. These were all passing through my head, when suddenly I felt something on my ears, felt like someone, I didn’t give a turn but I took a short look back, I felt someone looking at me! The gut feeling let’s say! It was a fly on my ear, the first time I thank the fly which ever took a rest over my ears, for sitting there, for forcing me to take a glimpse back and see someone looking at me. It was just a glimpse. First I thought just some coincidence. Didn’t care that much but there was this strong voice in my head saying  ‘Check out bro! What if the look was at you?’

I was again like “No it’s embarrassing, if someone else sees me”

But again the first screaming voice was there and I gave a look back, Nope not at me. I was for a moment saying “Thanks nature” and next moment being like “WTF why isn’t she looking at me?”
I gave another look, this time she realized, she smiled. Smile, that’s a good sign isn’t it? Whoa! I was totally lost, I didn’t realized that the contents were half taught, when I followed the track , I again couldn’t concentrate but I followed the lines with a pencil in my hand and this girl at my mind. I was constantly giving the look, but didn’t dare to turn totally back, so I could see her at least every 2 minutes, and I realized when ever there was a talk on love I would be given a smiley look.

Chilled, whoa! What was it? Did I have the wrong lead? Was I on the wrong track? Who knows? I didn’t.
 

The chapter I was saying was “About Love” by Anton Chekov, A good story, I would refer to read. But It set me in the dilemma. Nothing more I could say important happened, but it being the end lecture, I was moving out alone (My friends were somewhere back, I got out faster), She came out ( She usually leaves the class in group, but today I couldn’t see others) She came near me and started walking, the fourth floor with downward movement passed in silence, the third floor, she open her mouth to speak.
she said and I quote “ The class was interesting” I was paralyzed. Yeah! I was like couldn’t say anything. After few seconds I was like “HUH?” I positively replied then. We passed the stairs and were on the ground from where I could hear friends coming down and as I was leaving the door I could hear gossips about us. But I didn’t care, I didn’t wanted to, neither I needed care about them. I told myself “bro get practical” and here I am almost 0800 hrs later, putting all of it in my computer and publishing a new blog and continue  my life as it was before same old and ‘being myself’  state,  but this memory will be haunting me for days. Sooner or later which I wish to forget or regret