The Get Together Dilemma.... :(

And the last farewell..
Sheduled to be on March 19 2016 and i suddenly started to question my plans on attending or not the ceremony. It's actually a Get Together. But if i had to get her.. i had to stay away from her as far as possible.. i don't want a misunderstanding be created due to the friendship on relationship. And ugh, trust me today i got it, in this low state of my life when three mood breakers are attacking at a time( Coordinator strikes again, she has been off for a time and last night i had bad(suicidal)thoughts) which i told no one. But 1out of the total n number of people turned up to my aid.. All others were making fun up the situation and it was beyond control... i hated it.. but i had to prove.. and despited i had a fight with "A" ((that's her initial, i ain't calling her Sw31 no more)) i called her up. She was from a distant place but yet she had known bout my problem. How?? I didn't cared.. Neither i had to .... i just write, thinking ain't my job... i love her and i don't think about her actions....
She talked me to it.. i still want to avoid the program but yet she threatenes me if i did she wouldn't talk to me.. and i still remember the sacrifices i had promised to make for her.. ,still a lot of hopes.. i alredy introduced her to mom, and so i guess spending a day of my life in a group of "i don't know if i could mention friends" dead junkies let's say... just one day.. and that is only because i know this would be the last i'll be seeing of them.... ☺
i hope so... hope soo... hope... h.....

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